Obsessed

I know that I have not posted for a while and I know that when I last did it was just a super short one.  You see I have this problem....it's called a book. I LOVE to read and when I do I cannot put them down.  I get the necessities done...feeding kids, doing laundry, baths (me & the children), pick-ups & drop offs, etc. but everything else has to wait. Sorry, just how it is.

I've decided that I may have to put myself on a book diet.  I may have to start counting pages instead of calories.  It's just hard to summon the will power to put it down sometimes, especially now.  I've somewhat been on a book diet the past year & a half called the baby diet.  It's not working that well anymore now that she's 19 months.  Oh well, such is life, I guess it could be worse.

I am succeeding on one of my "diets" though.  This last week I lost 2.2 more pounds bringing my total to 63.2 pounds.  I'm still doing really well, probably helps that I don't like to eat while I read...heeyyyy, maybe I don't need to cut down on the reading!  I guess I'll just need to make blogging one of the "necessities".

Just Couldn't Resist

Sometimes this is exactly how I feel....

Source: someecards.com via Wendie on

And now some information you should have....

Source: ohmyfreakingstars.blogspot.com via Wendie on Pinterest

Source: someecardss.tumblr.com via Wendie on Pinterest

Moving Forward

Just a quick update on my weight loss, today I was down 3.2 lbs since my last weigh-in. This brings me to a total 61 lbs.  I'm very happy with this and my progress so far.  I really have been trying to make some lasting changes.  

My weight loss to date has really gotten me to thinking though, the most I've ever lost at any one given time is 85 lbs.  I'm a little nervous and maybe jumping the gun a bit, but this fact makes me very anxious.  There is one big difference this time though...the amount of weight I need to lose.  This time I was basically the largest I have ever been when starting (less about 5 lbs) so I know I have a lot more to lose.  I am hoping that 85 lbs comes & goes with no mental blocks.  I also really think the problem has more to do with getting close to the weight I want to be and becoming too comfortable...self sabotage?!  This is something for a later post, but definitely something I am not going to ignore. 

Mind Swap

Lately I've been doing really well on the weight loss front, but I've also had a lot of very negative thoughts bouncing around in my head.  On Friday I decided that was enough and I was going to find something positive to offset every negative I had.  When I take the time to actually do things like this I am always amazed how much it helps.  It's always very easy to see how truly blessed I am.

Not all of my negatives necessarily have to do with weight loss or health, but any negative feeling can be enough to throw a funk into the whole wellness plan.  So without further ado here are some of my "issues":

• The extra skin/sags are already getting to me and I have oh so much farther to go.  I would definitely say that I looked better undressed BEFORE losing. However, I don't tend to go anywhere undressed and definitely look better in clothes now.  I also have to remember that my hubby always said if I lost weight and kept it off he'd get me a boob job & tummy tuck.  
• My clothing selection is not so good.  I am so in between the sizes I have been wearing and the ones that I have stashed.  I can either fall out of my clothes or sausage into them.  REALLY what kind of problem is that?!  At least I have smaller clothes that are going to fit, not that I'm gaining like most of my life and nothing larger to move into.
• I still feel so slow and out of shape. My son raced me around the front yard and let me know that he went slow for me.  This one is not too hard to find the other side of.  I'm carrying around 60 less pounds and moving so much better.  I CAN run around, bike ride, paint the shed, and do things with my family.  I still want to take the next step into actual scheduled exercise, but at least I feel like now I can.
• I am SOOOO tired of my hubby having to work out of town! I miss seeing him every day and hate trying to fit everything in on the weekends.  Ok so this one I have to constantly remind myself of the other side. One, at least he has a job and can provide for us. Two, he gets to come home on the weekends and I know others who don't get to for 5 weeks straight. And three, he is almost done (even though I hear 2 more weeks every week) and will be home for good. Remember remember remember....
• I've been very stressed over my older babies education.  We pay a lot of money for private schooling and are less than impressed so far this year.  On the bright side they are supposedly working on it for us, we have other options if need be, and I WILL make sure that the best decision is made for her.  Also, all this is because she is too smart for her own good.  Now I definitely don't see how that could be a problem.

See, it's not so bad. I may have to keep reminding myself of this, but when I do I feel so much better.

There's No Way It Wasn't Monday

The calendar said that it was Wednesday, but that just cannot be possible!  It was definitely one of those days.

It started with not wanting to get out of bed, a baby who's diaper leaked, kids that were not dressed appropriately for chapel at school today (when it was time to walk out the door), another upset tummy day, and on and on...

I made myself eat throughout the day and I made myself think about the fact that if this is as bad as it gets then you've got it good.  It helped...until alone time tonight.

I'm faced with making some decisions in regards to my eldest baby girl's education and I don't want to.  No matter what decision I make someone is going to be unhappy and I truly don't think that there is just one perfect solution.  I am trying to take time, gather information responsibly, and make a well informed choice that will be the best in the long run. Oh how I hate big/important choices.

Since I haven't been able to resolve the situation as of yet,  it's affecting all my other decision making abilities.  I literally have one check blank left and I've been looking at checks for three days and still haven't ordered any.  I also couldn't decide that one treat this evening was enough, I had to have two.

Maybe I'll wait until my hubby gets back in town tomorrow and make him make all the choices. No?! Well it was a thought.  Instead I will leave you with this thought and it made me feel a whole lot better because....

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Weekly Weigh-In

Last week's loss was huge so I wasn't expecting much this week.  I ended up weighing-in down 1.4 lbs for a total of 57.8 lbs.  This I can handle.  I had another awesome week & was not worried, but I do know my body so this was more than expected.  You see, I lose one large chunk every month (when I am doing as I should) and it is the sign that my monthly visitor will be arriving very soon. And I am not like most normal people, I don't get the bloaty water weight stuff.  I actually weigh significantly less 2-3 days prior.  Odd, yes that's me.  TMI, yes that's me too.

What all that usually means is that no matter how spot on I've been the week after one of these huge losses, I tend to lose mere ounces the next week.  That is why this is a GREAT loss!

Do you have any weird (or not so weird) I know myself oddities?

Randomness

First a side note.  After doing this blog for approximately 6 months, I have finally posted some photos.  Please note the new photo tab at the top. :)

Now onto some random things about me, my life, or just things in general.

• I L-O-V-E coffee.  Plain black sludge, the stronger the better.
• I suffer from both OCD & a hording condition.  The OCD is winning out as I age...the clutter causes me anxiety which in turn makes me need my "crazy" pills.
• I carry most of my weight from the waist down (check out the new photos) and always have.  My sister says I not only have cankles, I have kneekles too! She's mean.
• I become obsessed with one food at a time. (Shocker I know)  Like for a while it was Ben & Jerry's every night, then it was PB Twix, then Carmel Bugles...It can last for months at a time and then one day I'm just done.
• I never wanted kids and now I have 3.  Who would've thunk it.  I credit my 1st baby girl for making me see the light.  She may have been a oops & she may be the death of me as a tween, but she is also the BEST thing that ever happened to me!!
• I've been married twice....to the same man.
• Until I had kids I didn't like eating meat.  It just tasted gross.  No problems now.
• I'm 5'10" and wear a size 12 shoe.  I've often wondered what it would be like to be petite for just one day.  Plus I'd like some cute shoes.
• Speaking of shoes, I wear flip-flops almost year round.  It even looks like I am wearing them when I'm not, thanks to an awesome tan. 



The tan has even faded

• Since I just showed you my feet I guess I should point out that I have 4 tattoos and I'm itching for more. I also can't wait for the leaves on the one on my back to not be hidden in the side back fat roll.  Almost there, but not quite.
• I once lost a ton of weight by eating mostly saltine crackers and drinking excessive amounts of vodka tonics.  The vodka would indicate the need for the saltines.  This was all of course before any of my kids, a very long time ago so no need to lecture.
• I'm a beauty school drop out.  Too many allergies.
• I love to craft but unfortunately never seem to have time for it.
• I enjoy growing flowers and hand water both my pots and flower beds daily.
• I really enjoy a couple of glasses of wine every evening, but since I am trying to lose weight I have mostly given it up.  Maybe once a week, sometimes more and sometimes not at all.
• The only foods that I know that I absolutely don't like are carrots (cooked or raw) and tomatoes.  I'll eat salsa and canned tomatoes in things, but I just can't do a regular tomato.  Wish I could, they look good.
• I didn't get Pinterest at 1st and thought it was stupid.  Now I like it, but I am not one of those crazy Pinterest people.  What I don't really get now is Instagram...I've tried it, used it a little, but just not sure exactly what the purpose is.

I guess that's all for now.  Anything else anyone wants to know?

It's Official

This morning I weighed-in at the exact same weight I was when I went to deliver my second child over 7 years ago.  If only I were birthing a baby today, not because I want another, but because that sure would be a big boost to the weight loss.

This is both a happy and sad moment. Sad because it's ridiculous I weighed less 9 months pregnant, that it's taken me soooo long to get back here, that I would let myself go like that, etc. Happy because I'm proud of what I've accomplished, proud of where I'm heading, and excited to enter the pre baby #2 territory.

Today I weighed-in with a loss of  5.8 pounds (hot diggity dog) bringing my total to 56.4 pounds. I feel good!

Things Are Not Alway As They Seem

The handcuffs on my nightstand, not mine...they were left there by the kid "cops" that decided to watch tv in my bed. (I really should move them before someone gets the wrong idea.)

The elipticle in the house of someone (me) on a health journey...dusty and taunting from the corner where it sits.

The always clean house of Miss OCD (also me)...please don't ever look in my bedroom or bathroom or closet, or anywhere else out of the main line of sight.

The pantry of a fat person full of Easter, Halloween, or any other holiday candy...we don't eat it, really we don't. That's why it's still there.

The smile on my face & the "it's ok" coming from my mouth about my hubby being gone every week for the last several weeks (and the several more to come)...not true, I hate it! But "it's ok" we are fine.

The clothes that are too big, YEA!...not good when you don't have the next size down (I have tons of 2 sizes down) or any money.

The joys of a shrinking body...well except the sagging skin, flapping arms, rashes, etc.

Sometime when things are not what they seem it takes a moment to see the real truth. I am a work in progress and I am proud of my eating and all that comes with it. The good, the bad, and the plain 'ol ugly. I am healthier and that is where I really want to be.