Thursday, June 27, 2013

Photographs



Why do you spread untruths?
You portray me in a way I think so unfair.
What have I ever done to you?

I see myself in the mirror,
Nothing too bad staring back at me.
I wonder why you insist upon showing me
In a way as I myself do not see.

You have an accomplice,
Giving me the numbers which cannot be denied.
Telling my mind maybe I'm wrong,
Maybe you do show what I just refuse to see.

Is it denial which makes me blind,
Or is it acceptance and love for me?
I hide from you best I can,
Not wanting to see myself through your eyes.

It must be denial.
It's time to take a stand.
To show you I can be who I see I am.




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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Blaahhh

Needless to say its been a while. I needed the break, but I am ready to roll again.

I feel blah and tired! I know this is entirely based upon nutrition as my sleeping habits and other things have not changed. I was eating only what I referred to as "real" foods...nothing boxed or processed. I wasn't counting calories or restricting, with the exception of not "real" foods. But I let the sugar and white flour back in and like a junky I just couldn't get enough.

Tomorrow I start my sugar detox... Nothing drastic or gimmicky, just the withdrawal of sugar. I remember day three was awful, I'll let you know again.

More of my journey to come!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Friday, April 5, 2013

The Elephant in the Room

Let's talk, it's no secret that I've been struggling. It might be a bit of a secret HOW MUCH. It's kind of a "if I don't have anything good to say..."



I've been wrestling with my inner self a lot and it's only gotten worse since I hurt my knees. Choices are not easy for me, they never have been. Ask my Momma about letting me pick out candy. I can't even decide if I want to go to the Dr. about my knee pain and they've hurt bad for two weeks. I'm a good "talker" and can find good reasons for all sides of just about anything. This makes it hard to rationalize and decide on ANYTHING! Once I make a decision, I'm in. But right now, I'm not feeling very "in".

I keep saying that I'm not going to give up! I don't think I have, but I definitely question how HARD I'm trying. Where's the line between wishes/desires and reality? How does eating a box of Girl Scout cookies constitute trying? Give me a moment and I'm sure I can justify it. See the problem here, no?!?!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad