Weigh Day After Vacation

First I must start off saying what a treat it was to go on my little mini vacation.  I've gone to McCall all of my life because my parents have a cabin there, but what a totally different experience it was staying in town in a motel.  It was like we were tourists.

The first day while my hubby worked my kids and I explored town, which we don't really ever do when we are at the cabin.  We played on the beach, checked out the little shops, had a coffee, and just wandered around.  On the other days we went shoe shopping, picked huckleberries, swam in the lake, and also swam in the hotel pool.

The hotel had breakfast every morning and there were even some healthy choices.  I did really well with breakfast.  Lunch wasn't too bad either because we ate things we brought with us.  Dinner was a bit tougher because of course it's harder when you go out.  I feel like I chose really well everywhere we went.  We even went for sushi, which was a first for me.  I did plan for and allow myself one treat and that was a dish of ice-cream from a place called Ice-Cream Alley.  It was good, I ate what I wanted, then I threw the rest away.

When we got home I could tell for the first couple of days that I needed water, even though I tried really hard to make sure I got in my water.  It could have had something to do with the amount of wine I may have drank.  Thankfully for my weigh-in this morning I finally felt back to "normal".  I am VERY happy with a loss of 1.4 lbs making my total now 50.6 lbs.  I realized when I logged my weight earlier today that this makes me past the 1/2 way mark to my first goal of losing 100 lbs.  I will still need to lose more after the 100, but I really wanted to give myself something tangible to reach for.

On another note, school started for my older two yesterday.  Even though I am sad to see the summer break end, I am anxious to get back into our normal routine again.  Summer often feels like such a free for all.  Now if I could just get my hubby back in town permanently!

Quick Weigh-In on My Mini Vacation

My husband has been working out of town for the last couple weeks and will have to continue to do so for a few more.  This week the kids and I decided to go with him since it is our last week before school starts.  I'm calling it our mini vacation.

Since I was not going to be home tomorrow to weigh-in on my normal day I went ahead and weighed this morning.  I was very happy and excited to see a loss of 3.2 more pounds, making my total now 49.2! Oh 50 pounds I can almost grab you...I've been very diligent lately.

My goal for the next several days is to make sure that I continue to eat well even while I'm out of town.  I packed breakfast stuff and snacks, so I'm headed in the right direction.  I'm also going to take time while the hubby is at work to swim and explore with the kids.  I forgot the stoller so I had to stop and buy one of those umbrella ones, but we plan on walking about town.

Now just praying the baby sleeps well while we are gone.

Weigh-in

Well I'm only a day late with my weight loss check in.  Things are moving along really well, today I am down a total of 46 pounds.  I'm not exactly sure where I was the last time I reported in, so I only have the total handy.  I'm really proud of this number.

I'm really starting to feel good!  Eating healthy foods in their more natural state really agrees with me.  Right now I'm not really missing the processed crap, but I won't lie and say that I wouldn't really love a peanut butter Twix.

My thoughts right now on that... I'm doing really good and not struggling, so I'm just going to keep running with it.  I don't feel like I NEED a Twix right now, I would just like one.  As I have said before I am trying to make this about real life, not dreamy diet land, so nothing is a NEVER again food.  I just need to leave "those" foods for when I NEED them, special occasions, and those once in a blue moon type of days.

I really wish I could understand why sometimes it seems so easy and other times it seems so hard.  Right now I am just rolling with it.  Maybe later when it's not so easy I can look back and find something I've written that will shed a little light on it or inspire me to get going again.  Because even though I am doing good right now, my journey has only just begun.

Unsettled

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel unsettled?  I am having that problem huge today.  I've had a tummy ache since I woke up, lots of things on my plate today, my hubby left town again, and some unsettling mail.  I really want to take one of my "crazy" pills, but I am worried about getting too sleepy.  I guess it'll have to wait until later.  I usually like Monday's, but today can just be done!

Today I am trying to remind myself to eat because I should...yeah weird having to do that.  That is usually NOT an issue for me.  I'm also trying to remember that in the scheme of life it's not that bad and at least my kids are being fairly well behaved today.

I've still been really busy lately, but I am hoping after my littlest person's doctor appointment tomorrow morning that it slows down.  My other two register for school this afternoon and I really need some groceries, so we will see what gets done.  Hopefully tomorrow I can update how the diet is going and record my current weight loss totals.  This is one thing that I am settled about, I've been doing good.

So Busy

I meant to post yesterday, but I have been so busy.  Last weekend my family and I went out of town and then my hubby had to leave Monday morning to work out of town.  Then throw in a trip to Target and Costco, not to mention we have swimming lessons every day this week.  It definitely makes for a more hectic day when the hubby doesn't get to come home for a bit of a reprieve.  However, he is good at putting everything in perspective for me, even over the phone.  We have been keeping busy and managing just fine, but I can't lie, I cannot wait for him to get home.

I do have good news to report, the eating front has been spot on.  I went out of town and kept right on trucking.  I made sure to pack appropriately and be prepared.  While we were gone I also got in a bike ride and a bit of swimming.  It was so much fun.  All of my hard work paid off and yesterday I recorded a 2 lbs loss for a total of 42.4 lbs. Yay!!

I have noticed something in the last couple of evenings though, I am craving/wanting some unhealthy foods.  I think that I have decided it is from boredom and loneliness.  It hits after I have put the kids to bed, when I usually sit and relax with the hubby after a long day.  I've managed so far, drank a big glass of water and had a healthy snack, but I definitely want the hubby home.

I'm going to try to get some photos posted from our weekend away, it just may take a couple of days. Here's to a GREAT rest of the week!

Do You Want to Know What I Did?

Last night I did something that is really hard for me.  I'm not going to say I haven't done it before, but it's one of those things that doesn't happen very often...like Christmas.

Okay it all started off with me fixing myself a large plate of food for dinner.  After all I was having mostly veggies, so it was a large nice looking spread.  I went easy on all the non veggies and I had great variety.  But this isn't about what I put ON my plate, it about what I LEFT on my plate.  Yeah you heard correctly, I left food on my plate.  I was eating and chatting with my hubby when all of the sudden I realized I was full, I decided to stop.  This is a BIG thing for me!

Just two nights earlier I was chatting with my mother that I was trying to control my starting portions and wait to see if I really wanted seconds.  I've always had a problem with eating everything on my plate, and not the one where she had to force me to finish.  You see it usually doesn't matter how much is there or how full I already am, I will clean my plate like all good girls do. :-)

Well, my starting portion was big last night, like I said earlier.  When I got full I stopped.  I don't know why exactly, but I did.  Maybe it's that I've been trying to watch my serving sizes and it's working.  Maybe it's that the way I'm eating allows me to have as much as I want, so I am not stressing about not getting enough. Maybe it's a fluke?  Who knows, but like I've said before, I'm going to run with it and keep on trying.

Now on a totally separate note, I've lost another 1.4 pounds.  My total lost is now at 40.4!!  Yeah...I rock!

Reality

When people lose weight I think they have this preconceived notion on how it will go and a visual of where they're going to end up.  Ok maybe not all people, but I do.  In the past I've started out strong and then I start getting these mental images of what I'm going to look like and how easy it's going to be.  These images are not necessarily in focus and they may even lack a face, but I can see this shape of the person I think I'm going to become.

In the past, on my many many many "failed" diet attempts, I get discouraged that I am not meeting the goals set forth by these visuals in my head.  Things get harder, life happens, and "reality" sets in.  I'm a "failure", I will never look like I've pictured, why do I even try?

This time it's different.  I've realize something, my "reality" and "failure" were off.  My visuals were impossible misleading and my ideas of easy sailing were wishful thinking.  This is a process, a journey, one that I KNOW without a doubt that I will struggle with.  The difference, I embrace this & will not give up... even if it takes forever.

I also know a few other things.  That person I see in my mind is not me.  I cannot change some thing no matter how much I wish I could.  I will not become petite, for heaven sakes I'm 5'10".  I will not have skinny, sexy legs...that is just not how I am built.  And you know all this skin that covers this body, it's not going to all go away.  I am working on being okay with all of this.

Do you want to know something else?  I like me, I really think I am kind of pretty, & I am trying to be proud of who I am right now.  But, I am also trying to accept how others see me with a little bit a grace instead of disbelief.  My hubby says I am not "kind of pretty", I am beautiful...I don't quite see it that way yet, maybe never, but I am trying.

Source: dontfeelright.tumblr.com via Wendie on Pinterest

I guess what I am saying with all of this is that I am trying to accept that this is a process.  I need to be REAL, accepting, & loving to myself.  I'm not perfect, but when it comes down to it, I really do like me.