In the past, on my many many many "failed" diet attempts, I get discouraged that I am not meeting the goals set forth by these visuals in my head. Things get harder, life happens, and "reality" sets in. I'm a "failure", I will never look like I've pictured, why do I even try?
This time it's different. I've realize something, my "reality" and "failure" were off. My visuals were
I also know a few other things. That person I see in my mind is not me. I cannot change some thing no matter how much I wish I could. I will not become petite, for heaven sakes I'm 5'10". I will not have skinny, sexy legs...that is just not how I am built. And you know all this skin that covers this body, it's not going to all go away. I am working on being okay with all of this.
Do you want to know something else? I like me, I really think I am kind of pretty, & I am trying to be proud of who I am right now. But, I am also trying to accept how others see me with a little bit a grace instead of disbelief. My hubby says I am not "kind of pretty", I am beautiful...I don't quite see it that way yet, maybe never, but I am trying.
I guess what I am saying with all of this is that I am trying to accept that this is a process. I need to be REAL, accepting, & loving to myself. I'm not perfect, but when it comes down to it, I really do like me.