Wednesday, August 1, 2012


When people lose weight I think they have this preconceived notion on how it will go and a visual of where they're going to end up.  Ok maybe not all people, but I do.  In the past I've started out strong and then I start getting these mental images of what I'm going to look like and how easy it's going to be.  These images are not necessarily in focus and they may even lack a face, but I can see this shape of the person I think I'm going to become.

In the past, on my many many many "failed" diet attempts, I get discouraged that I am not meeting the goals set forth by these visuals in my head.  Things get harder, life happens, and "reality" sets in.  I'm a "failure", I will never look like I've pictured, why do I even try?

This time it's different.  I've realize something, my "reality" and "failure" were off.  My visuals were impossible misleading and my ideas of easy sailing were wishful thinking.  This is a process, a journey, one that I KNOW without a doubt that I will struggle with.  The difference, I embrace this & will not give up... even if it takes forever.

I also know a few other things.  That person I see in my mind is not me.  I cannot change some thing no matter how much I wish I could.  I will not become petite, for heaven sakes I'm 5'10".  I will not have skinny, sexy legs...that is just not how I am built.  And you know all this skin that covers this body, it's not going to all go away.  I am working on being okay with all of this.

Do you want to know something else?  I like me, I really think I am kind of pretty, & I am trying to be proud of who I am right now.  But, I am also trying to accept how others see me with a little bit a grace instead of disbelief.  My hubby says I am not "kind of pretty", I am beautiful...I don't quite see it that way yet, maybe never, but I am trying.

I guess what I am saying with all of this is that I am trying to accept that this is a process.  I need to be REAL, accepting, & loving to myself.  I'm not perfect, but when it comes down to it, I really do like me.


  1. Great post - it's a revelation alot of people don't ever come to. So this is amazing. :)

  2. Very amazing. I agree and wish someday that I can think that way. I've been trying to tell myself every morning while looking in the mirror that I 'm pretty. I am a work in progress!

    1. Oh momma you are beautiful! I always thought my mom was prettier then everyone elses! And when you walked up to swimming lessons the other day you looked really good, you can definitely see the loss.
      Keep trying!