It all started last Sunday.....after making it through Halloween, Thanksgiving, and even Christmas...my mojo seems to have up and gone. I weighed-in that day 102.2 pounds down, patted myself on the back, strutted around for awhile, and then.....
It started out small enough, a little soup to make me feel better. Soup that contained things I shouldn't eat. It was okay though because I was sick?!?! A leftover popcorn ball or 12. Dinner out, ordering a big FAT no-no!! Then more "bad" soup and corn bread last night. Yes, I said corn bread, let me know if you find any nutrition in that!
It only takes a moment, not only to derail my eating, to bring back the negative talk in my head. Where has it been hiding because obviously it wasn't gone. It was just waiting, watching for that moment to pounce, to tell me... "See you can't do it, you're destined to fail!"
I'm reaching and grasping for the things I've learned so far on my journey. I'm not going to patronize myself by saying it wasn't that bad and definitely not as bad as it would've been in the past. I'm also not going to fall back on the infamous "you've already blown it, you might as well wait until you weigh-in again"! That's only giving myself excuses to justify my behavior.
I am going to pick myself up, dust off, eat a salad, and continue on with my eyes open just a little bit wider. I'm going to ask for support and I am going to continue heading in the direction I know I should.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I can relate to the negative self-talk. I look back at pictures when I was younger----I didn't even look fat.
ReplyDeleteBut I felt fat.
Moments don't define us. Days, weeks, months and years do.
Your biography won't remember ordering the No-no.
Chris
thiiirdly.com
First thank you for reading & second thank you for the great comment. Sometimes it's easy to forget that a moment doesn't define us! I'm back (I think) into the swing of things. Maybe I just needed to get it out in words before I could move forward.
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