Photographs

Why do you spread untruths?
You portray me in a way I think so unfair.
What have I ever done to you?

I see myself in the mirror,
Nothing too bad staring back at me.
I wonder why you insist upon showing me
In a way as I myself do not see.

You have an accomplice,
Giving me the numbers which cannot be denied.
Telling my mind maybe I'm wrong,
Maybe you do show what I just refuse to see.

Is it denial which makes me blind,
Or is it acceptance and love for me?
I hide from you best I can,
Not wanting to see myself through your eyes.

It must be denial.
It's time to take a stand.
To show you I can be who I see I am.




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Blaahhh

Needless to say its been a while. I needed the break, but I am ready to roll again.

I feel blah and tired! I know this is entirely based upon nutrition as my sleeping habits and other things have not changed. I was eating only what I referred to as "real" foods...nothing boxed or processed. I wasn't counting calories or restricting, with the exception of not "real" foods. But I let the sugar and white flour back in and like a junky I just couldn't get enough.

Tomorrow I start my sugar detox... Nothing drastic or gimmicky, just the withdrawal of sugar. I remember day three was awful, I'll let you know again.

More of my journey to come!




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So True

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The Elephant in the Room

Let's talk, it's no secret that I've been struggling. It might be a bit of a secret HOW MUCH. It's kind of a "if I don't have anything good to say..."



I've been wrestling with my inner self a lot and it's only gotten worse since I hurt my knees. Choices are not easy for me, they never have been. Ask my Momma about letting me pick out candy. I can't even decide if I want to go to the Dr. about my knee pain and they've hurt bad for two weeks. I'm a good "talker" and can find good reasons for all sides of just about anything. This makes it hard to rationalize and decide on ANYTHING! Once I make a decision, I'm in. But right now, I'm not feeling very "in".

I keep saying that I'm not going to give up! I don't think I have, but I definitely question how HARD I'm trying. Where's the line between wishes/desires and reality? How does eating a box of Girl Scout cookies constitute trying? Give me a moment and I'm sure I can justify it. See the problem here, no?!?!



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